I wanted to create a journal, a written one, instead of some online blog that everyone can just google it up and read. I feel that it is private and should not be read unless I give that person permission. But hey, a diary/journal (I prefer calling a journal notebook because it's less girly and more professional) is too expensive to buy. I've been researching online for some cheap but nice quality journal, but none of the journals seem to compromise both.
Anyways, so here I am.
I want to expose myself and in a way, come clean. I want to write everything that is on my mind. And what's great about a journal is I can disregard any of my grammatical issues (whoohoos!). P.S. I hate English class (...this reminds me that in 2 weeks I will be getting my AP scores and I probably failed AP English Language!!! Yeahs Me....I pray God that I can get a 4!!!! Pleasssseeee!!!).
So, I wanted to keep a journal ever since YS (Young Seekers) started, since they wanted us to write one but I couldn't find a great and cheap journal so that prevented me from writing one. Now, I want to first write about my volunteer experience:
Earlier, on June 20th I finally got my doctor to sign the papers for me that are required for me to volunteer at the hospital--- it took nearly 3 weeks for the whole process to be done because I didn't get some PEP shot so I had to get one and then come back 2 days later, which was a Friday but I couldn't because there was YS campout...so I went the week afterwards. Finally, I had it signed and I went to the hospital on Wed. to give in the papers and take a urine test, which is only on Mon to Wed. and Mon is during the morning while Tues & Wed are in the afternoons. But, when I got to the hospital I apparently came too late and the urine test hours were over... I mean WOWS, SERIOUSLY! Fine, so I came back next Wed. I had to go up and down from the 1st floor to the 13th floor (where the urine test was held at). But after all the hassle, the lady at the 13th floor signed some paper after reviewing the papers signed by my doctor. I asked do we need to take a urine test and she said no. Instead of feeling frustrated, I felt relieved! I mean I don't need to go through any trouble. So I went back down to 1st floor where the volunteer dept. was and gave the paper signed by the lady to her. The woman (who seems quite young, maybe in her mid 20's) stored those papers and asked can we start now and my friend and I said yes. I was always more of a decisive one than her so yeahs...I looked at her when I ad yes, seeing if she agreed with me but she usually 95% does and this time it was the same. The woman pulled out some papers and told use to choose the options that were not highlighted because those were the only volunteering options left. But guess what? There were really only 3 options. I saw 2 of them were clerical stuff (filing papers, answering phone calls, etc.), and the other one caught my eyes. It stated food & nutrition as the dept. and the job description was making sandwiches and some other things, which I don't remember. I was thinking to myself, making sandwiches..this seems funner than sitting around and just doing the regular stuff. So I happily chose it, and once again I glanced over to my friend and she shrugged her shoulders and said okays. We told her hours and what days we wanted, which were from 9- 2 and from Wed to Sat.
She began to lead us to this big red door, and the staircases led down.
Hold up! ---- If we are going down, does that mean we are going to the basement. And yes, it was the basement! She led us into the kitchen and it was of course a big one. She left right after she introduced us to this woman called Ms. Cooper. Apparently she is our supervisor. So she took us to the back and told us to wrap forks, spoons, knives, and straws with napkins.
The worst part was when she told us we had to wear a freaking hairnet!!!! and gloves ...yeahs during summer days!!! and I cannot wear sandals, only shoes that does not show your toes. Oh c'mons! It's summer, geez! So everyday I am forced to change before I go and sign in at the volunteer dept. on the 1st floor and before I head down to the kitchen afterwards.
There was a Mandarin woman who came to help us as we tried to wear our hairnets and I thought, Ohs how friendly of her! She is voluntarily coming to help us because she might have saw us struggling with those hair nets. Of course I wanted to befriend her right then. My goal was actually to make conversations with everyone and learn everyone's names by heart.
We began to just wrap the utensils with the napkins and we had to afterwards put it in this plastic wrap and tuck the upper part in which was extremely hard to do with gloves! The Mandarin woman came again and told me that I was folding very messy and showed how she folded them. So I did the same, but of course slower than her. After all I am new....
But I later on that in this kind of workplace it is more quantity over quality. It is completely different from what we learn in school that quality is what I'm looking for instead of quantity.
So for the whole day we just stood there and wrap utensils.
Then there was lunch and Jessica heard that they told us to go up to the 2nd floor to eat but we decided to hand around the lounge and just eat there since we saw people (visitors) who just sit or sit + eat. I hate my diet lunch meal....and Jessica took some hamburger from the kitchen even though she did not have an interest in eating. However, they said that you must eat! They made it sound like it was by law or rule in the kitchen...I was pretty shocked at their tone when they said it. It was a very forcing tone. So when we sat down and ate (Jessica didn't anything), we complained for the whole day like how are we going to survive this! I mean honestly I don't do anything at home!!! The only thing I am in charge of is schoolwork. If someone all of a sudden told me I must wrap things it would be the same thing if a caveman was told to work a computer. If someone told me to mop the floor, forget it I quit! After all, I am just a volunteer! Of course this is not the right attitude to bring to the workforce in society but heys when you can't take it and have reached your border line you must do what you gotta do. I have never mopped a floor or really sweep the whole floor except those times when I cut my nails in a tiny surrounding and have to sweep those up. Being in a kitchen was not what I expected nor wanted. Never in my wildest dreams, that me, that I chose this job myself. Of course we Jessica and I are just trying to come up with a bunch of reasons to stay there and do our best. The future at that time really seemed bleak. I really thought that we couldn't mingle in well. It's like a whale living in a forest....It just doesn't blend nor work. So at the end of lunch we decided to just own it up and do the job and see how bad it can be (yeahs, I was not that optimistic at that time).
So, that was my first day at the hospital volunteer experience.
Ohs yeahs, I forgot to mention that the Mandarin woman really urged me to learn Mandarin. I couldn't really understand her and I couldn't talk back to her when she said something. It was the first time I felt, wows, Leah you should really learn Chinese. It was also her that me realize the language barrier between us. Language really puts a role in our everyday conversations because without understanding the other person's tongues how will you talk to them. Even asking how are you is hard..wells I am just saying if you don't understand some language because I actually do know how to speak it and understand it if someone were to say that to me.
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So the second day at the hospital I went to work at 9am.
I have to also mention that we decided of course not to work a Saturdays after knowing kitchen work was our job. It is so embarrassing to wear that kind of "uniform" so even an extra second at the kitchen will be torture. But halfway during our work this woman stopped us and said, "I need one of you guys to come up with me to the 13th floor. So I said I will go.
When I went up through those elevators, my heart popped every single time it stopped. Taking the elevator was like taking a roller coaster for me. I hated the elevator.
But when I got to the 13th floor, I was hushed a minute. There was a big panel of window and the view outside of it was just AMAZING! It looked so nice. It's been a while since I have been so high up and looked down from the windows to see outside. It was really breathtaking.
Later on, I set up the 4 small round tables with utensils (not wrapped) and cups. Some other lady, called Nelly set up the plates along with the things I placed on the tables. I learned from the woman I was following, called Elizabeth, where everything was kept and I tried to make conversations when we wait for the elevator to go back down or go back up because we always have to take stuff up and bring stuff down or we will forget somethings and I..(usually not her) will have to take the roller coaster up and down. So one of the conversation involved her kids. She was saying how her daughter was in 4th grade and she had difficulty with math, and had been left back once already. So I said that I loved math and was great at it and even tutor this after school program at church that had kids ranging from kindergarten to fifth grade. After I said that she was like ohs reallys, how much do you charge. Of course I was dumb to not say I charge $5/hr. I felt that since I did not know her well I shouldn't lie since I am trying to gain her trust and be on good terms with her. So my reply was ohs I can tutor your daughter for free. And she was soooo happy and said, "Okays we should exchange number." Wells, till this day (July 7th, as I am recalling and writing this) I still have not gave her my # but she gave me hers that day. I do feel kind of bad but I don't want anyone to be bothering me, especially someone I don't really know.
But the 2nd day was really different from the first day where I just had to stand fold the utensils and get glared at by the Mandarin woman, whom I am regretting that I said in the beginning she was nice. I was already going to the 13th floor and doing many different things, and most importantly I met sooo many people on the elevator. At times, it gets crowded. The reason was because from the 3rd to 8th/9th floor it was all construction work. So many of the construction workers would also take the elevator frequently. They were all nice and make conversations with each other and to us. But the downfall was every time the elevator stopped for either a person to get off or get on my eyebrows furrowed and I felt ready to puke.
Jessica also tried something new which was working on the assembly line. It was a harder task since you had to make sure all the foods listed on the meal ticket were on the tray, and the assembly machine goes by fast so you have to be quick and alert and be loud enough to tell people what is missing or whether the person needs coffee/tea, which are to be done separately by other workers who will put it on the trays. She again complained about her job and I complained about going up and down and about the elevator.
I was very happy, though, to see my aunt who works on the 11th/13th floor. She touched my right side of the waist and I thought it was someone who wanted me to move out the way but I turned to see my aunt. This happened on the 13th floor. I always wanted to see her, but the thing was she saw how I looked with the uniform on, so it was pretty embarrassing. She chuckled at me and I slightly whined about this job. She just smiled and I smiled back. Then she went to feed some elderly person.
All in all, the 2nd day made me want to experience more and new things. Being a volunteer is not bad because you don't have to afraid of getting fired when you are doing something new. The fact is that being a volunteer does not necessarily mean also helping other people it is also testing your limits, being unafraid of trying new things, and learning about yourself--who you really are as a person. I learned that all along I was really spoiled, even though I knew since I was in elementary school when my dad brought me whatever I say. I wanted to grow into a different person and was eager to test my relationship with God. I prayed that the days of working at the kitchen will be better and more fun. I also learned how I can endure what I may dislike at the beginning and just suck it up and do it. Maybe, after all, this proves how I am not THAT spoiled.... I also learned how I can be really serious when I work and how desperate to know everything so I will fit in with the workers at the kitchen.
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So the rest of the days at the kitchen I learned to put labels on different foods and on formulas (or these certain drinks for patients) and I finally got to make sandwiches which I am now a pro at it! It's really not hard, spread egg salad/tuna/peanut butter/jelly or put ham/cheese/turkey and cut it in half and wrap it, and there is one finished product!
After the first week or really 2 days of working at the kitchen my regular schedule was this:
1. Arrive at 10am (I changed it to a later time since I couldn't wake up so early)
2. Put our "uniform" on, which includes hairnet, apron, and gloves, and my shoes I change at the lounge
3. Wrap utensils
4. Put labels on foods/formulas --OR-- make sandwiches
5. Lunch time (the kitchen has good food! But everyone takes the good stuf before we do :( )
6. Come back around 12:45pm
7. Wrap utensils again!
8. Leave!!!!! :D
I guess all this time, I have to say that I learned a lot. I mean I am putting labels, which required me to know which is which, and I am making sandwiches. I just hope to continue to learn more and eventually grow accustom and comfortable to the kitchen..especially the smell of it! It stinks!!! But I guess after a while each day I get used to the smell.
Heeehees, making sandwiches is not hard afterwards!
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Today, there were so many highschoolers that came to the hosptital and we immediately thought that they were volunteers but they were not. They were all SYEP workers. So 3 additional workers came by to the kitchen and they are working here! We now have company! We were always complaining how it's just the 2 of us and how we wanted more people, wells now our wish is granted. Hopefully, there will be no more new people. If there are too much people then it will be a little too crowded. Right now, the amount of people here is JUST right.
I thank God for his doing and for making us less lonely. I hope He continues to watch over us and do great things! I am so tire right now because I have to post up this one blog that covers a span of 3 days or so. Looking at the time now, it took my 1.5 hours! It's 1:01 AM, sighs I am so tire! I will later post up so pics I took while I was coming back home. I don't know why I took them, but I think it was because I felt the same way as the sky.
Every time I look out the car window (Janice's parents' car), I am always able to strengthen myself and find hope and miracles. God please continue to work in me and I hope to love you even more! Btw, today's YS theme was loving your neighbor and the Good Samaritan. But today was different because it was not just telling us to act and be like the Samaritan but more so to look at the man who was robbed perspective. That man was us, who was needy and the Samaritan was Jesus who came and helped us. Before the parable, Jesus had said Love your neighbors as yourself, and this neighbor in the man's perspective was of course none other than the Samaritan aka Jesus. That is why we, who are are needy, must come to love our neighbor Jesus with our whole souls and minds.
Yes, God I know and I will love you! I will everyday love you!!!! <3
Btw, I want to praise God for not letting me done and has once again done such a huge miracle. I have been praying about my grandmother's lump near her breast. I assumed it was a tumor, and my grandmother said it had been there over half a year now, and it grew a lot. So I became very scare. I DID NOT want my grandmother to suffer another disease! She had suffered a lot from her heart disease and her bad lungs which caused her to have asthma. I was praying for signs that when we get to the doctor, he will say that it is nothing. But for the past days, before the day she actually went to the doctor which was today, I saw no good signs. But when the doctor said it was not a tumor because on the past April they have done a blood cell count and said it was normal I was so happy! I could have literally jumped for joy! The doctor said it was because of the lungs changing forms that caused the lump. I don't know whether to take that any better, but at least IT IS NOT CANCER! PRAISE THE LORD! I really want to GLORIFY everything He has done!
I love you God and Jesus! You never fail me even though I failed you so many times. I will pray to change myself and my personality.
Good night..or should I say good morning..it is now 1:13 AM.
I am done with what I have to say for today. :)
It was a good day today. I learned and met and cried for joy all on the same day.
June 7th, I will remember this date! :)
